a deep breath

With every stressful time of year comes the belief that I will not be able to finish the tasks that are before me. And yet every time, through God's providence, He is able to see me through to the completion of each thing.

The holidays are too rapidly drawing to a close, leaving little time for the check list I made before coming home of things that I really wanted to do before returning to my cozy little place. The time of family and relaxation is going to be missed.

Don't get me wrong: I love living on my own. I like having my own place, my own schedule, my independence, but there is nothing like coming home for a while and I'm just not quite ready to leave.

early morning panic

There's nothing quite like the rush of adrenaline when you come to a bus stop a scant minute before the bus is scheduled to arrive only to discover that Google Maps is completely unreliable in terms of updated information as the stop has been moved due to the Santa Claus Parade. I got my dose of exercise racing, well, more like hobbling as my duffle bag bounced off my leg in an unrepentant rhythm, to the temporary stop.

And here I now sit on the train, looking for all the world cool, calm, and collected; the pretentious grad student who refuses to be divorced from her laptop and takes every opportunity to continue to do her work. Oh how deceiving looks can be!

The sunlight (oh glorious sunshine!) is cutting through the barren branches of the trees as we roll through the countryside, transforming the fields into a shimmering sea of frost.

shafts of sunbeams

There are days when I struggle to put one foot in front of the other and then a blaze of sunlight breaks Eeyore's gloomy clouds and I become much more like Tigger, dancing around and unable to sit still because I am so full of joy.

Tea. Books. Children. Love.

Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan)'s Shop Around the Corner in the 1998 film You've Got Mail is a place where these things are equally mixed, along with a healthy dose of Christmas cheer. I am so looking forward to being home and celebrating the above-mentioned happy triggers in the understanding that they are an enormous gift and blessing from the One who holds us each in the palm of His hand.

reflecting windows

Oh the late nights when I tell myself to go to bed at 10 to make up for past late nights and yet continue to do work well into the nights.

The promise that tomorrow will worry about itself is often difficult to accept - I keep wanting to do all my work in one day.

frozen colours

At times I find the world is spinning by too quickly to catch a breath and be thankful for the blessing of each day. Waves of news continue to swell over my head - it is difficult to respond appropriately to everything with so many deadlines and assignments that seem to take priority but really shouldn't.

I ran along a trail encrusted with frost this morning, clouds of breath hanging in the air, and envied the frozen flowers: they are poised in a single moment, forced to remain still for a while and contemplate life as it hurries past them. But they themselves are not responsible for anything and can watch through frosted panes.

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

I need this reminder shouted at me. I need to stop and appreciate the world in its frozen yet vibrant beauty, to stop and to lay all cares and concerns at His feet.

calling it home

After months of searching, watching, waiting, and hunting, we have been blessed with a place to call home for twelve months. It is everything I hoped for (except for the carpets and the lack of closets): location, privacy, quiet, and brightness. There is even space for a piano! 

i want to hold your hand

(That's a Beatles reference, in case anyone was wondering.)

It's been two years to the day and I have been so incredibly blessed.

times are a-changin'

It's strange to think that the past four years have slipped by so quickly. My life has been showered with so many blessings, with the support of family and friends. The Lord has seen me through my undergraduate degree and has enabled me to continue on with a Master's degree by providing me with financial support from the government, a large and generous scholarship. 

the recent graduates from Redeemer and Covenant 

mid-afternoon musings

My days at Redeemer are numbered. I sit at home with my feet in the sun and tap away at the keys as my 6,000 word paper slowly reaches its mark, losing myself once again in Tolkien's Middle Earth with C. S. Lewis and Paul Ricoeur as guides. The sun is shining, my sister is practicing piano, the floor is home to books that don't fit on my shelf, groaning with the thought that there are more to come, my bed is covered in reams of notes, various essays, several books, and yet another acceptance letter to grad school. I am undecided, envious of those whose direction has been clearly marked. I am still waiting for the neon signs to tell me where I ought to go.

I distract myself from my work and studies with these thoughts, then am reminded that there is still a task at hand. Papers do not write themselves nor do exams. Only three. Nine days left. How do four years slip by so quickly?