early morning panic

There's nothing quite like the rush of adrenaline when you come to a bus stop a scant minute before the bus is scheduled to arrive only to discover that Google Maps is completely unreliable in terms of updated information as the stop has been moved due to the Santa Claus Parade. I got my dose of exercise racing, well, more like hobbling as my duffle bag bounced off my leg in an unrepentant rhythm, to the temporary stop.

And here I now sit on the train, looking for all the world cool, calm, and collected; the pretentious grad student who refuses to be divorced from her laptop and takes every opportunity to continue to do her work. Oh how deceiving looks can be!

The sunlight (oh glorious sunshine!) is cutting through the barren branches of the trees as we roll through the countryside, transforming the fields into a shimmering sea of frost.

shafts of sunbeams

There are days when I struggle to put one foot in front of the other and then a blaze of sunlight breaks Eeyore's gloomy clouds and I become much more like Tigger, dancing around and unable to sit still because I am so full of joy.

Tea. Books. Children. Love.

Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan)'s Shop Around the Corner in the 1998 film You've Got Mail is a place where these things are equally mixed, along with a healthy dose of Christmas cheer. I am so looking forward to being home and celebrating the above-mentioned happy triggers in the understanding that they are an enormous gift and blessing from the One who holds us each in the palm of His hand.

reflecting windows

Oh the late nights when I tell myself to go to bed at 10 to make up for past late nights and yet continue to do work well into the nights.

The promise that tomorrow will worry about itself is often difficult to accept - I keep wanting to do all my work in one day.

frozen colours

At times I find the world is spinning by too quickly to catch a breath and be thankful for the blessing of each day. Waves of news continue to swell over my head - it is difficult to respond appropriately to everything with so many deadlines and assignments that seem to take priority but really shouldn't.

I ran along a trail encrusted with frost this morning, clouds of breath hanging in the air, and envied the frozen flowers: they are poised in a single moment, forced to remain still for a while and contemplate life as it hurries past them. But they themselves are not responsible for anything and can watch through frosted panes.

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

I need this reminder shouted at me. I need to stop and appreciate the world in its frozen yet vibrant beauty, to stop and to lay all cares and concerns at His feet.

calling it home

After months of searching, watching, waiting, and hunting, we have been blessed with a place to call home for twelve months. It is everything I hoped for (except for the carpets and the lack of closets): location, privacy, quiet, and brightness. There is even space for a piano! 

i want to hold your hand

(That's a Beatles reference, in case anyone was wondering.)

It's been two years to the day and I have been so incredibly blessed.

times are a-changin'

It's strange to think that the past four years have slipped by so quickly. My life has been showered with so many blessings, with the support of family and friends. The Lord has seen me through my undergraduate degree and has enabled me to continue on with a Master's degree by providing me with financial support from the government, a large and generous scholarship. 

the recent graduates from Redeemer and Covenant 

mid-afternoon musings

My days at Redeemer are numbered. I sit at home with my feet in the sun and tap away at the keys as my 6,000 word paper slowly reaches its mark, losing myself once again in Tolkien's Middle Earth with C. S. Lewis and Paul Ricoeur as guides. The sun is shining, my sister is practicing piano, the floor is home to books that don't fit on my shelf, groaning with the thought that there are more to come, my bed is covered in reams of notes, various essays, several books, and yet another acceptance letter to grad school. I am undecided, envious of those whose direction has been clearly marked. I am still waiting for the neon signs to tell me where I ought to go.

I distract myself from my work and studies with these thoughts, then am reminded that there is still a task at hand. Papers do not write themselves nor do exams. Only three. Nine days left. How do four years slip by so quickly?

dancing in the rain

(these are not mine, though I wish they were)

It's spring. At least, it feels like spring. It's the time to go dancing in the rain, splashing about in a pair of rubber boots (preferably in red), and feeling like a child again. Wellies are a fashion statement, right?

However, this painting brings dancing in the rain to a whole new level of classy.

The Singing Butler (1992) by Jack Vettriano

school, school, and more school

I received my first acceptance letter to an M.A. program from Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario this week! Even if 4 rejection letters come in the mail, I will still be able to continue on in my education.

A large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

default

A cup of tea, several stacks of books, my agenda (a.k.a. my lifeline), some music, my computer, a pen with blue ink, a mechanical pencil, sheets of note paper, a sweater (or blanket) (or both). . .

I'm doing schoolwork.

can you use it in a sentence?

YouTube video of the weekend.

cast your eyes on the ocean

The ever calming sound of waves crashing on the shoreline is a sound I could listen to on a daily basis. Perhaps it's a sound I should listen to on a daily basis.

This week provided a sampling of grad school with my first batch of assignments to mark and the early stages of research for a grad-level sized paper.

a kind of heart ache

I really miss it. I see pictures of students who are in England now, and my heart aches. I long to be there again. Perhaps my real regret is not being able to share it with someone really close to me for the whole time. Don't get me wrong - it was wonderful to have mom there for a week - but for those other weeks...

I see people who are constantly travelling with others, whereas my journeys and explorations were often solo. Discovery the beauty of creation on my own, with no one to share the joy.

But I'm home now and have others to share other travels with. This is where I am. This is where I learn to be content. This is where I count the many other blessings which have been showered upon my life.

And perhaps some day I will go back.

the swing of things

the title of the video says it all

I have completed the first week of the final semester of undergrad and the future holds a lot of written pages by the end of April. 3 seminar presentations, 1 midterm, 3 quizzes, 1 performance review, 1 4 page paper, 2 8 page papers, and 1 20 page paper. My ambition is to remain positive, to see all of this as a a welcome challenge and as preparation for grad school, especially since I am officially a TA, not just a Departmental Assistant, this semester and will grading alongside my writing and reading.

Reading. I've actually been enjoying the assigned readings so far. Tolkien's Silmarillion, various articles by David Lodge and R.B. Kershner regarding literary theory and criticism, a short story by Ruby Wiebe, who is known as the author of the dreaded novel study in grade 11: Peace Shall Destroy Many, selected contemporary novels such as Haroun and the Sea of Stories and In the Skin of a Lion. And on the side, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, one of John Le Carré's spy stories which I have started now for the third time. Oh what fun it is to ride on the sleigh which is getting closer to the edge of a sheer cliff, the Cliffs of Insanity.

It's great being a student. :)

need space? have books!

I always need more space on my bookshelf for the books which are growing in stacks on the floor in front of the double-shelved bookshelf. Here is the solution I came across today:

i can only imagine

Post no. 1 for the new year - it's only a week late.

No, this is not about to be a review of the past year, as it was rather quite eventful. Although, I do have to mention a few things which have had an impact on my life: England (obviously), the passing away of my oma, ending a long-distance relationship, and beginning my final year as an undergraduate student.

These holidays have been filled with all sorts of delightful things: skating, visiting many, many friends, and generally spending time with family, (although I didn't do any of the baking I said I would…). Grad school applications are almost completely finished, and I am on the brink of a new semester.

The challenging task of this year is to put all concerns in the hands of the One who controls all things, and not getting caught up in the cares of tomorrow. Here's to putting all things to prayer.